That awkward moment when you realize it might be too late

When was the last time you had one of those moments where you realized you were wrong? You realized that you FAILED? I had one of these moments this week, election day of 2016. I was on Facebook. My feed was mixed as to who was happy about Donald Trump being our next president and who was disappointed, upset and even angry. There was a particularly heated discussion on my daughters Facebook wall and I, to my own dismay, lost it. I flew off the handle. So Christlike, I know. It wasn't my shiniest moment as a mother, friend and especially Christian. One of her friends was rude and disrespectful. In a fit of anger, I blasted the girl. I really let her have it. Even though her words upset and offended me, I was more angry that my own daughter never once stood up for me. She had no admonishing for someone who was disrespectful to her mother. As much as I'd like to blame the atmosphere she lives in or other influences in her life, I had to come to the conclusion that it was MY failure. If I had taught her how important family is, how important it is to stick by each other no matter the circumstances, I would not be feeling this or experiencing this today. I also have such a bad temper that if I had just kept scrolling, I would not have so many terrible words to eat now. I deleted my Facebook the very next day and I don't want to look back. As I ponder my damage control, I am sadly coming to the realization that it just might be too late to repair the relationships I destroyed. The Lord is able to restore what the locusts have eaten away. So I have hope that if I finally learn to follow Jesus' example and turn away wrath with a soft answer, my family that I was so quick to push away from me will return. This is me at my most honest and my most heartbroken.